Balancing Family

7 Things to do with kids OTHER than shop!

2010-11-29T16:29:00Z

I used to have a mall crawler. It was stroller with small wheels; perfect for strolling the area mall in my attempt to be part of the "real world" when my son was little.

I could easily spend a couple of mornings a week there. I would get a coffee and cruise around while he napped or played in his car seat. We would check out sales and get something from the food court for lunch.

Then home for nap time and some playtime before dinner. Then do it all over again.

The bills started to add up and I knew I had to make a change. There was more I could do with my son besides shop!

Here are some things I did with my kids at different ages that helped me break those bad shopping habits.

MOMS club or other support group. When I was a kid everyone had a "stay at home" mother. There was always someone to play with and my mom had many friends right in her neighborhood. When my son was born I went from a full-time job to barely working at all (for pay that is) and I was lonely. All of my work friends were still working, my husband was at work all day, and no one in my neighborhood was home with their children. I found out about a local support group for mothers and one day I got the courage to go check it out. Best thing I ever did! It took some time to get to know people, but before I knew it I had a playgroup for my son, and me. There were outings to attend during the day and a couple of evening activities a month that got me out of the house by myself. Many of these women are still my greatest friends, and surprisingly my children are still playing with their playgroup friends even though they go to different schools. There are lots of different groups to choose from, some that have a stronger religious focus (MOPS: Moms of Preschoolers) and some that involve more dads (PATH: Parents at Home). My advice, if you do join such a group, is to volunteer for a job. It was through my volunteer jobs that I made the most friends.
Change strollers. I turned in my mall crawler for a running stroller. Once I got a running stroller I could exercise again without a babysitter. For me, running a few miles has always helped me as much physically as mentally. If you don't like to run, they are great for walking, too. I used to make a playground stop on my way home, so my kids would also get exercise. I never had a typical double stroller, I only bought a double running stroller that gave me the freedom to get out of the house but that was not necessarily designed for the mall.
Library. Free. Books. Programs. Videos. Okay, so quiet and kids do not necessarily go together, but people in the children's section get that. I love going to the library with my kids. I loved going there when I was a kid. Books for free! Many libraries now have special programs a few times a month for children. Not only is it a great activity for your kids, but you may meet some parents as well. And many libraries also let you check out toys. Since kids can get bored fairly easily with their toys and books, the library is a great way to keep things exciting without spending a small fortune. Don't forget, it is all mostly free. But watch the fines! I circle the date everything is due in red on my calendar to remind me!
Going to the mall? Leave the credit cards at home. I wish I had done this way back when. Going to the mall is not the worst thing on this planet to do with kids. My kids loved the new sounds and people watching. They loved riding the carousel and watching the puppies and ferrets in the pet shop window. I enjoyed being out of the house. If you go, leave your credit cards at home and only bring a limited amount of cash so you will force yourself to only window shop.
Get outside. You probably know this already but I am a big fan of getting outside with children. If you have a nature center or a state or national park nearby, there may be special programs that happen just for kids. Usually they are very reasonable and well worth the money. Environmental education starts at a young age.
YMCA. One of my friends, who was new to the area and knew no one when she moved nearby, joined the YMCA. While her daughter was having fun playing with other kids, she exercised and managed to lose close to 65 pounds by exercising almost every day and eating better. Yes, she had to pay for a family membership, but just think of all of the medical costs she saved the family as she lowered her risk for diabetes and high blood pressure. Other gyms may have similar arrangements. Something else a couple of friends did is to work part-time for the Y or a local gym. They could get their membership for free while making a few dollars, along with free babysitting when they needed it.
Memberships. If you live near a good children-centered museum, aquarium, or zoo, it may be worth getting a family membership and making it a destination at least once a month. One of my friends used to go to our local zoo every Friday with her two boys, rain or shine. They got fresh air, exercise, and became very good observers of animals. Instead of presents from grandparents, you can request a membership that your family can enjoy all year.

Public Parks Make the Most of Resources Close to Home

Public Parks, Make the Most of Resources Close to Home

Lori O'Donnell

Lori is a contributing writer for the Balancing Family blog. Lori is a passionate, married mother of three children, one with special needs. She shares her family's life experiences as she writes about saving money, budgeting, and other timely topics for those living in a one income family. Compensated CareOne Blogger.

To follow us click here

Some small ways to save every day

2010-11-22T13:03:00Z

My two older children already wrote their Christmas wish list letter to Santa. They got started on it before Halloween. Gulp!

I have written this before, but now that my older kids are older, their wants cost more. Simply opening and playing with empty boxes is no longer exciting!

Of course I want them to be surprised and to love Christmas, the holiday we celebrate, but it is not worth going into debt this holiday season.

One way I save money for the holidays is to find other ways to save money throughout the year. It isn't always easy to be the "cheap one" in the family, but I would rather have that title (which, by the way, is now in fashion) than to be in debt and paying interest for presents my kids may not really play with anyway.

So, for all of you frugal people out there, here are some ideas for how to save money every day:

Coupons. The internet is a great way to find coupons for just about any store or item you're interested in. Not every store has a coupon available all the time, but it is worth a quick search. If you don't use the internet regularly you can still clip coupons that come in the newspaper or in the mail. Just make sure you actually need the product; don't buy it just because it is a good deal with a coupon.
Comparison shop. This is similar to coupons-- if you are looking for a certain holiday present, compare the prices on different websites; I always check offers on places like Amazon.com. Some comparison websites to try include http://www.nextag.com/, http://www.bizrate.com/, and http://www.shoplocal.com/?citystatezip=21201&newzone=y.
Discounts. Perhaps you already belong to AAA to help you with roadside assistance. There are a ton of other discounts you can get just for being an AAA member. For example, if you are ordering from Target through their website you save 10% extra. Don't shop just because you are getting a discount (really bad idea), but if you are already going somewhere or using an online business, see if you get a discount with some of your organizations. Over 50? AARP has some great discounts including 35% off rental cars at major rental car companies.
Birthday discounts. Everyone deserves a little pampering, even frugal moms and dads, and why not on your special day? At some stores if you provide them with you birthday you get a special treat for that day or that month. I love Starbucks, but rarely go to save money, so I really enjoy my Venti Mocha on the house on my special day. Some other stores that offer birthday discounts or free products include Aveda, Baskin-Robbins, Cold Stone Creamery, DSW, Express, IHOP, Old Navy, and Red Robin; even your pet gets a birthday discount at Petco. Most websites will have the information and how to apply.
Buy generics or store brands. I always look for the store brand when I am shopping and I compare it to the price of the name brand. Even if I have a coupon for the name brand, the store brand, or generic, may be cheaper. I am rarely disappointed in the quality and I save a lot of money during the year. One exception, Fig Newton's. My kids hate the store brand so I have to buy the original.
Emails: opt out. The inbox of my email account is much more manageable now that I have "opted out" of promotional emails. I used to get 5-10 a day from companies trying to entice me to check out their website for deals. I am a sucker for a good deal, and I would spend money I did not have. Now that I no longer get their constant emails I am saving money, and it makes checking email so much faster, too! If you decide you want to buy something online, you can search for discount offers using Google or other coupon websites. Try http://www.couponcabin.com/ or http://www.retailmenot.com/ for coupons to many different stores. To remove yourself from the email blasts you can click on a link at the end of an email and follow a few steps to be removed from the list.
Watch the thermometer. We are getting into the colder months now, so I am watching the indoor thermometer carefully so that we are putting on more clothes instead of turning up the heat. If you are not home, turn it down. Or get a programmable thermostat that does the work for you. My goal is to reduce our energy bill by at least 10% this winter by being even more careful with our energy consumption.

I would love to hear your tips for saving money throughout the year and during the holidays!

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Lori O'Donnell

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Money Mom Gives Thanks

2010-11-15T13:02:00Z

I have always loved the Thanksgiving holiday. It does not have all of the expectations of Christmas (i.e., no gifts to buy), it is a time to spend with family and friends, great desserts are usually involved, and since I like football I don't mind there is some on TV.

Thanksgiving also has special meaning for me, as my son was born a few days after Thanksgiving. I remember being very large, uncomfortable, tired, and yet very content as I celebrated this traditional holiday with my husband's family just days before he was born.

I knew my life was going to change forever when he decided to join us, and I was right. I became responsible for another human being's care and upbringing-- an awesome, yet huge responsibility. It changed me as a person; I like to believe for the better!

Almost ten years later I am the mother of three children, one with special needs. Their needs are different than that of the newborn baby I held in my arms 10 years ago. And they have become more expensive, too!

My needs are different as well. Here are some things this mom of three is thankful for:

Coffee. Thank goodness some research scientist has not found anything really bad about drinking coffee! I start each day with at least one cup of coffee, and when I steal some moments with mom friends it is usually over a cup of coffee. I also knew I was pregnant each time when I hated the taste of coffee during my first trimester. Fortunately, my disdain of coffee only lasted a couple of months. I feel like I can face the day after a good hot cup of coffee. Now, if someone could only invent a really good substitute for cream and sugar, I would be set!
My Mom Friends. I don't know what I would do without my mom friends. These are the women I met because we had kids the same age and have been friends with ever since. We used to share stories and advice about getting our babies to sleep through the night, potty training, discipline strategies that worked, or not, and lots of husband stories (my personal favorite). Now we discuss successes and struggles in school, get advice from each other about sports, friends, and just about anything related to raising kids. Plus, now that we know each other better we get to share more about ourselves; it isn't just our kids that define our friendships. Unfortunately, time with these ladies is less and less frequent, so when we do see each other I treasure these moments.
Grandparents. My kids are fortunate to have three living grandparents. But they are especially lucky to have their grandmother who lives just two miles away. She attends their soccer games, helps me watch them when I am working, brings them treats from time to time, and who told me when Colleen was diagnosed with Down Syndrome at one week old that she would be just like any other child in my family. She listens and talks to them in ways different than a parent, and they need that. Thank goodness for Grandma!
Laundry Machines. I really can't complain about laundry because I own my own laundry machine. It is old and ready to break any day, but it still gets the job done, and for that I am grateful. I cannot even imagine doing laundry the old-fashioned way, but if I did I know I would wash things a lot less! Now, if only I could get a machine that folded laundry and put it all away in the right spot!
Running. For me running is cheaper than therapy. In fact, I now have a T-shirt with this saying on it! It helps me clear my mind, solve problems, and keep in better shape than I would otherwise. And, as with most things, once you lose something is when you realize how much you miss it. Two years ago I broke my foot and could not run for three months. Now that I can run again, even if it is dark and cold, I am simply grateful that I can pound the pavement. I am sure other injuries will happen, and one day I may decide walking is the overall better choice, but for now I will just keep running.
Hugs. There are some days when it is the hugs that get me through. I am thankful for the hugs from my kids. My oldest offers hugs less frequently, but every now and then I can sneak one from him. My younger girls are more generous, and there is nothing like a good hug. I always make sure before they go to bed that I give them a hug.

What are you thankful for this holiday?

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Lori O'Donnell

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Need new clothes? Consider a clothing exchange!

2010-11-09T12:07:00Z

Clothing exchanges have been popular among my friends for a couple of years. They sounded great but it took me almost two years to finally make it to my first one.

After all, the stars had to be in alignment with healthy children, a husband home on time with enough energy to deal with getting three kids to bed, and no big commitments the next day.

I found a few minutes to go through my closet and drawers and loaded a black garbage bag full of clothes, shoes, and accessories I no longer wore.

A friend was hosting one and about ten women were attending. I have to admit that I was nervous-- would people like my clothes? Would anything they were giving away fit me?

I ended up walking away with a new coat, three new sweaters, a pair of shoes, and a basket, a pair of jeans for my husband, a fancy dress, and a new shirt. My clothes I was no longer wearing found new homes, and I made some new friends, too.

Here are some things to consider when hosting or attending a clothing exchange:

New wardrobe for free. Free is a great feeling. I love bargains, but in the spirit of an exchange don't get into selling clothes. It is all about getting something great for free.
More than just clothes. I have to admit I was a bit worried that there would be nothing in my size and that nothing would fit me. My friend who was hosting the event wears a size 6, a size I have never worn. But people are encouraged to bring items other than clothes, and I snagged a new pocketbook along with the clothes. One friend walked away with new beautiful glassware that the owner had not used in four years.
Social time. Make sure to build in social time at the start of the exchange. My friend who hosted had a few drinks and desserts, and everyone who came contributed a dish if they wanted. I enjoyed meeting new people and seeing old friends as much as I enjoyed getting a wardrobe refresher.
Decide on process. There are different ways to divide up the clothes. Some people have racks or tables set up and people simply browse and put in requests for different items. If more than one person is interested in an item, there are different ways to determine the winner. Have a lottery, guess a number, or outbid each other with pennies (everyone gets 100 pennies when they enter); these are just a few. At the event I attended each person stood up with their merchandise and held it up for everyone to see, one item at a time. If you were interested, you raised your hand. Then the owner thought of a number in their head within a certain range, and the person who guessed the number (or closest one to it) won the item. If the item did not fit, it would then be passed to someone else who had expressed interest. I actually had the black Gap short trench coat given to me by the person who had won it because it was too big on her. It helps to have nice people at your clothing exchange!
Clothing exchange with kids clothes. I have heard of friends hosting clothing exchanges with their teenagers, or just bringing children's clothes to exchange. Spending money on clothes for kids can be a huge expense, so being part of an exchange is one way to bring this cost down. As for teenagers (I am thinking girls would be more into this), it would be a great way for them to refresh their wardrobes and perhaps snag their friend's sweater that was always their favorite.
Clothes go to charity. To keep it simple, anything people do not want is collected at the end and given to a local charity that collects clothes. Usually the host takes care of this, but anyone can step up and volunteer to do this final step.

Have you been part of a clothing exchange? Was it something you would do again?

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Lori O'Donnell

Lori is a contributing writer for the Balancing Family blog. Lori is a passionate, married mother of three children, one with special needs. She shares her family's life experiences as she writes about saving money, budgeting, and other timely topics for those living in a one income family. Compensated CareOne Blogger.

To follow us click here

Saving on Birthday Parties for Kids

2010-11-01T11:32:00Z

My daughter is heading off in a few minutes to one of her best friend's birthday parties. Her friend's mom is great at putting together fun and inexpensive birthdays for her four kids. With four kids she has to keep the costs low!

This one is a spa party-- a perfect theme for a small group of 7-8 year olds. And the birthday girl has been getting into her mom's makeup since she was 2, so it fits her daughter well.

It should be a fun Saturday afternoon for the girls. I almost wish I could stay!

Birthday parties for kids can cost a small fortune these days. There are new businesses that even specialize in meeting this growing demand for easy and fun parties, but many of them cost more than what I spend at the grocery store in two weeks. You don't need to break the bank to celebrate.

After all, birthdays are about being together with friends and having fun, not about how much money you spend and where you have the party. Here are some ideas for celebrating the big day and keeping costs low:

Time of Day. Do not plan a party over lunch or dinner time. Really, you don't have to feed everyone lunch or dinner. You will save a lot of money by just having cake and ice cream. No other food is needed! If you have the party from 2-4 p.m. or 3-5 p.m. then people know you won't be providing a meal. Sure, having pizza is a nice treat, but a party is really about having fun together.

Party Favors. I am not having goodie bags anymore. Do the kids really need a present for coming to a party? I am not sure who started it, but not giving out goodie bags is one way to easily reduce the cost of a party. Most of the time the items are eventually thrown away. If you decide to do a goodie bag, make it something a child can actually use, and keep it small. One year my sister took all of her kids' McDonald's toy collections and the departing children got to pick one toy to take home. The kids were thrilled, and my sister was happy to get them out of her house. Another year my son was having a ball theme party, so I got some inexpensive balls from Oriental Trading Company and wrote "I had a ball at ______ birthday party." I was amazed at how long they lasted, too.

Accessories. Many kids like to have a theme for their birthday, but don't feel obligated to do this or to get plates, cups, napkins, and decorations of Star Wars. It will cost you a small fortune. Instead, use generic white plates, plastic cups, plain napkins, etc. The kids barely touch the plate (and have no idea of what is on it); this small move will save you tons of money. You can accessorize in other ways.

Ideas. There are lots of great websites that can help you with birthday ideas; this website is just one: http://www.birthdaypartyideas.com/ This website has many different theme birthday parties with lots of great ideas that can cost next to nothing. For example, if you want to have a spy birthday party for a 7-year old girl you can go to the "spy party" category and then be more specific with gender and age. Playing games is what kids tell me they really want to do together, so getting suggestions for games from websites makes your job a lot easier. Of course, for younger kids, they are often happy to just play with someone else's toys. Older kids like more structured activity.

Sleepovers. My cheapest kid birthday party ever was my son's sleepover party. He was allowed to host 3 boys; they came over after dinner on a Friday night, played some games, and did some activities together. And watched a movie. They had so much fun being together and they didn't know how cheap it was. I can't handle this more than once a year, but it was fun!

Keep it small. As the kids get older there really is no need to invite 20 of their closest friends. Taking your child and two friends to a minor league baseball game, to visit to a city or on another special outing can mark the special day without breaking the bank.

Outside of House/Apartment. I have to admit I would rather have my kids' birthdays outside of my house. Why? Less cleaning for me and because parties at home are more work. There are ways to keep costs down if you are looking to do something away from home. First, consider a park. One year my son had a flag football birthday party in a local park. I hired two young teenage boys who were playing football to organize the boys into a game, and then hotdogs, beans, and hot cocoa were the perfect treat on a brisk, fall day. Another idea is to take your child and a few friends on a hike through geocaching. Check out this website for more info: http://www.geocaching.com/ for establishments, a friend had her twins' birthday party at a McDonald's. She said it was cheaper than anything she had done before; the kids were all fed, and they had a great time in the play place. And, if your child is completely set on having a party at a local inflatable or laser tag place, look into sharing the costs with another similar-aged friend and/or hosting a party on the weekday when the rates are cheaper.

How do you keep costs low for birthday parties? I would love to hear your ideas.

Links:

Balancing After-School Activities for Your Kids

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Balancing Family Blogs

Lori O'Donnell

Lori is a contributing writer for the Balancing Family blog. Lori is a passionate, married mother of three children, one with special needs. She shares her family's life experiences as she writes about saving money, budgeting, and other timely topics for those living in a one income family. Compensated CareOne Blogger.

To follow us click here

8 Stress Busters for Busy Parents

2010-10-25T12:40:00Z

Stress is a part of life. Some of it is good, as it makes us perform better. Nothing like a rush of adrenaline to make anyone more focused and alert. But too much stress is problematic. And being in debt certainly adds stress to life. This blog will explore some strategies for coping with stress.

Stress is a part of life. Some of it is good, as it makes us perform better. Nothing like a rush of adrenaline to make anyone more focused and alert. But too much stress is problematic. Chronic stress can cause many health issues, including high blood pressure, diabetes, and an increased risk of heart attack and stroke. And being in debt certainly adds stress to life.

I had managed my finances well until I started having children. Amazing how much money the little ones can cost! I know many parents feel the same way. But if you let the stress of parenthood take over your life you will miss out. There have been many days when I felt like I forgot to breathe; my family's chaos consumes me, and on these days I would feel stressed and burned out by the day's end.

I had to learn to cope with the stress of being a mother, teacher, wife, daughter, friend, holiday shopper, and more.

Here are some stress busters that have worked for me and my friends in the past and present; I hope they can work for you, too!

Breathe. Okay, so this sounds easy. But I know I don't breathe deep enough. When I am feeling stressed in a situation, I stop and remind myself to breathe deeply. I try to fill my diaphragm and take a long time with each breath. Sometimes putting a hand on your lower tummy helps you to feel if you are filling that area with air. Sometimes stopping for some good, deep breaths can help the stressful moment pass. It is like counting to ten if you are upset about something; if you do that and breathe deeply you may not say something you will regret later.
Exercise. I am a runner but I get that not everyone likes to exercise. My motto is, "I am not fast, I don't go far, but at least I go!" I feel so much better when I exercise! So try to find something you like to do and make it a habit. Walking, biking, swimming, or if there was a team sport you enjoyed when you were younger find some other adults to join in on the fun. Exercise helps to get stress hormones out of your bloodstream and a decent amount of moderate activity helps to release endorphins that give you a feeling of well-being. There are some great exercise DVDs on the market as well, and many can be rented from the library. Learning and practicing yoga is also great for your body and mind. It combines stretching exercises for fitness with controlled breathing, relaxation, and meditation.
Diet. What you eat can definitely affect how you feel. When going through a stressful time try to be especially mindful of what you are eating. Avoid junk food and reach for food that will help you feel nourished: fruits and vegetables, whole grains, non-fat dairy, and lower fat sources of protein like chicken, turkey, or even eggs if you leave out a couple of yolks. Drink water instead of soft drinks. Limit caffeine, especially after 2 p.m. And, yes, a small amount of chocolate is okay. Many fast food places now have healthier food choices-- you just have to order them. Stress often has me eating anything and everything, and that only makes me feel worse, both mentally and physically.
Me time. When I was taking care of newborns I rarely took time for myself. Even when I was in the shower I would think they were crying. Add sleep deprivation on top of that and it was tough. I learned it was important to schedule some "me time." Sometimes this meant just being by myself and enjoying that moment. Or finding time doing something with a friend or two that I really enjoyed. And when such moments happened, I would remind myself to really enjoy the experience, and to be present in that moment so that the laughter, serenity, and/or relaxed feeling could be brought back during a stressful time.
Laugh! It helps that kids are naturally funny, not just in what they can say, but also in what they do. But you also need adult humor, so enjoy a good comedy rental or TV show when you can. Watching with others will help you laugh more, too. And if you are in the middle of a difficult situation, like a vacation with children that takes you to the local ER, remind yourself that one day you just may laugh about it. No wonder so many people end their day watching a late night comedian.
Crying is okay. It really is okay to cry. It may make others feel uncomfortable, but I know I always feel better after a good cry. Even if what I am crying about has nothing to do with the stress I am feeling. I may read something sad that has me crying, and when I am done I feel so much better.
Reach out to friends. I do not know what I would do without my friends. If you are the type of person who needs to talk things through, having a few good friends to talk with is so important. Even if these "conversations" are happening via email, it helps you feel connected. Mostly I get to talk to my friends on the phone or while running (running or walking with a friend kills two birds with one stone, giving you talk time and exercise time). If you feel your problems are too big to share with a friend, finding a local counseling service can be a real life saver. A good counselor can help you work through some of life's toughest moments.
Question yourself. You need to decide if the situation is really worth all of the stress. Think about how you can think or act differently in the future to help you cope more effectively the next time. Now, some of this you may not be able to control. For example, when my youngest daughter was a baby she needed open heart surgery to repair a heart defect. Fortunately the surgery went well. I still remember being home about 10 days after her surgery and I could feel the weeks of stress leave my body. It was an incredible feeling as I really had no idea it would be such a physical sensation. If you cannot change the stressor then you definitely need to learn coping strategies so your body is not damaged by chronic stress.

The holidays can certainly add on stress, but hopefully using some of these stress busters will help--not just now but during other months, as well. I would love to hear what works for you in reducing stress these days!

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Mind Over Matter: Will Power Counts for any Goal

2010-10-18T12:01:00Z

I wish I had more will power when it comes to eating. I managed to gain 30 pounds since I had my first baby, and he is now 9! No doubt the combination of three pregnancies, increased stress from having young children, and my love of food all work against me. I finally lost the first five pounds and it took will power AND a plan. Just like getting out of debt. And the work is not done. Just like getting out of debt. But at least I am on the right path.

Getting out of debt takes will power. Many good things in life take will power, so this is really no different. But along with will power, a good plan is also very important. That is why CareOne is so important. They give you a plan and you, along with a lot of will power, need to follow it. For me, this is like losing weight. I gained 30 pounds with three pregnancies, and while I wouldn't trade my three kids for anything, I wish I could give these pounds away. I exercise and I try to eat well, but until I came up with a plan and found some support I was not able to lose any of the weight. I have recently lost five pounds; it's a start and I am determined to keep going. Just like getting out of debt and getting your finances back on track.

Here are four things you can do to keep going strong with will power:

Plan. When trying to lose weight, I do best if I have planned and have the right food in my house. If I am hungry and the only thing I have to eat is a Snickers bar, I am going to eat it. Along with the second shelf of my refrigerator! You need to do the same thing with your money. You need a budget, you need a plan to get out of debt, and you need to keep track of your money. If you need to make a budget, this is a link to a good website that recommends different budget tools for all different needs: http://christianpf.com/10-free-household-budget-spreadsheets/
Write it down. Write down everything you spend money on. Did you spend $6.53 on lunch? Write it down. Was a fill up of gas $42.48? Write it down. Spend $3.98 at the candy aisle at CVS? Write it down. Not only will writing it down help you keep track of your daily expenses, the simple act of writing it down makes you stop and think if you really need to spend money. It is one of the number one tools for weight loss, and it is just as important for money control, too.
Support. Tell people who care for you about your plans to get out of debt. If you are going out with friends that spend a lot of money, you may feel like you need to keep up. Don't. Once you speak up, you may be surprised at how many other people are in a similar position. That doesn't mean you cannot have fun. There are lots of things you can do that cost next to nothing. My friends who know I am trying to lose weight are not offering me large pieces of cake when we get together. I have a group of friends I email my weekly weight and who meet me to exercise. You may be surprised at the support you get once you speak up. If you do plan to keep your finances private (it is very personal to some), you do have the support of the CareOne community, so make the most of it.
Focus on the goal. Good things do not always come easy. It isn't easy to get out of debt. Stay focused on the goal of being debt free and building a good financial future for yourself. Cut up the credit cards. Create a budget. Get the most bang for you buck. Become the frugal one on your block. You will be glad you did!

What do you do to help keep focused on your financial goals? And, if you have any new weight loss tips, I will take those too!

Helping Kids Start a Business

2010-10-11T11:23:00Z

Publisher's Clearing House was started in the garage next to my grandparent's house in New York. Under Armor was started in the basement of a college student's apartment. I wish I was one of those business people who came up with a great idea for a product or company, put my idea into action, was my own boss, and became independently wealthy as a result. That is the American dream, right? Well, it hasn't happened to me, yet. But I would bet money that most of those entrepreneurs all owned their own business when they were growing up, or worked for someone they hated and decided never to work for anyone else again!

I had my first job-delivering newspapers- when I was eleven and then I had a babysitting business that I continued until I was 25! I worked selling clothes at a flea market and as an office assistant for a real estate appraisal company. I probably learned more from those experiences and other jobs I had than from anything I could have learned in any class. I think it is important for young people to work. My own children are fast approaching the age of more responsibility (and increased wants) and by having a job or their own business they can gain a lot more than just a paycheck. This blog explores some things to consider as your child approaches the age of having their own job or business:

Interest. It is much more fun to do something you like to do and get paid for it, than something you don't like to do. Consider what your child likes to do and try to match a job for their interest. Like to paint? Consider starting a face painting business for parties, festivals, and fairs. Animal lover? Find jobs walking dogs or caring for cats or other animals when their owners go away. Good with computers and other electronic devices? Start a business helping the technology challenged people of this world (my grandmother could never program her VCR) with their computers and other devices. Like to be busy outside or into growing things? Consider a lawn care business. All of these jobs are great for teenagers of all ages.

Skills and Values. Having your own business teaches many skills and develops core values. Before I started delivering newspapers when I was eleven years old, I was a bit disorganized, not good at following through on promises, and shy around people. I had to keep track of payments each week from my 32 costumers or I lost money, so I became organized. I had to deliver the papers everyday after school or I would lose my job and my neighbors would be upset with me. And I had to start speaking for myself so I became less shy. All good stuff, plus I saved enough money from this job one year to pay for a trip to France with my French Club in ninth grade. I learned I could save money for important goals. I also became more frugal, as this was my hard-earned money I had made. I passed this job on to a younger person so I could play a sport in high school; but, by then I was babysitting so much that it became my new business. And it paid more, too.

Failure is a great lesson. Don't let your child be afraid to fail. Failure teaches many lessons, including perseverance and determination. It is natural. Many successful business owners had other businesses fail before they found the keys to success. They learned their lessons and moved forward. Don't let failure stop them. Help them find the lesson and then move into something else, or try a new approach. And read about successful business people and the struggles they went through prior to finding success.

Marketing. The use of social media like Facebook and Twitter can be a great tool for young entrepreneurs. A friend posted on Facebook that her tween was willing to do almost any type of work to keep his 7-11 food-buying habit, and he quickly found jobs cutting lawns and walking dogs in his neighborhood. Posting flyers in places like libraries, senior centers, and grocery stores are good standbys, as well. But nothing beats word of mouth for someone who does a good job. From personal experience I know a good babysitter gets booked mostly by word of mouth.

Pitfalls. In my opinion, kids still need to be monitored. Caution them about taking babysitting jobs for total strangers. Teach them about trusting their instincts and that if something does not feel right to make up an excuse and leave. Keeping safe is so important, and teenagers usually feel invincible. Most people are good people, but unfortunately there are some not good people in this world. My friend's thirteen old son, who loves sailing, placed on ad on Craigslist offering to help sail a boat for someone who owned one, and he included his age and gender. Fortunately my friend found out and told him he was not doing this, and especially not for total strangers. She was a little surprised that anyone responded, and wondered about their motives, too. As the motto goes, "Better safe than sorry."

Resources: This website has ideas for businesses for kids and a list of values developed by having your own business: http://showkidsthemoney.com/. This website also goes over reasons why kids should consider starting a business and a few ideas to get them started: http://www.creating-wealth-from-birth.com/start-their-own-business.html This website is for kids interested in starting their own business, and it provides not just ideas, but tools to use as well: http://kids-in-biz.com/kib/ For girls, the American Girl company has resources for young girls who want to start their own business, including ways to track money and expenses. Check out http://www.americangirl.com/index.php.

What was your first job? Do you have kids who are trying to start their own business? I would love to hear about them and any lessons they have learned.

Teaching Kids Smart Saving Strategies

Allowance for Kids: Life Lessons

Lori O'Donnell

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Saving Money Now, Fall is the Time To Think About the Holidays

2010-09-27T13:00:00Z

Before I know it, Christmas trees, poinsettias, and background holiday music will be in every store I enter. Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays; but, I hate the commercialization and that the holiday shopping season now seems like it is three months long! With three kids whose desires keep getting more and more expensive, plus other family members to shop for, I have to find ways to save money in the next few months and to shop for the best bargains. Here are some ideas to help save you money during the holidays or to keep you out of debt:

Be Honest. First, be honest with people you usually exchange presents with in advance. There are many people who have scaled back on holiday shopping and there are many ways to show you care without spending much money. People who care about you won't want you to go into more debt to buy them a present. In my extended family, we used to exchange presents with up to ten people. Now, we pick names and just buy a present for about $25 for just that person. This saves us about $300. It isn't an easy thing to do, but people who love you will understand and appreciate your honesty. If you have to buy less, you spend less. Simple!

Layaway. Layaway plans, once popular in the 80s, have made a comeback. I wrote about this in a blog last year, so see the link below for more detailed information. For a small fee, you can put an item into layaway and then make weekly payments toward the item until it is paid for. Many of these payments can now be made online, saving you a trip to the store. And, if the price goes down, most stores will usually honor the new lower price. Something to check out, especially if you are buying a higher cost item like a bike or gaming system.

Christmas Club. Many banks or credit unions have a Christmas Club program. When you enroll in this, a portion of your paycheck is put into a special account, in this case for holiday purchases. I know that I am more likely to spend what is in my paycheck; so, if I don't see it, then it is not there for me to spend. With a Christmas Club account, I can save all year long for holiday purchases, which will help to keep me out of debt. Check with your bank to see if they offer one.

Pay with Cash. I know you have heard this one before, but leave any credit cards you have behind. Don't buy something unless you have the cash on hand. I spend a lot less money if I only go shopping with cash. If I bring a credit card, I am much more likely to make an impulse buy.

Coupons. If there is a certain store you like to use, search for coupons ahead of time via the internet. Stores are desperate for business, so there are deals out there. And many stores accept competitor coupons, so don't be afraid to ask.

Check Sales Online. Some stores offer in-store sales only, but the internet is a great place to comparison shop. I have used NexTag and BizRate before with great success. Here is a link to a ranking of the top twenty comparison shopping internet companies: http://www.ebizmba.com/articles/shopping-websites

Watch Spending Carefully. Everyone is working on this, but in the next few months really watch the money as it leaves your wallet. Eating at home, passing by the coffee shops, selling/finding things at consignment shops, and renting a $1 Redbox movie (or getting one free from the library) instead of spending $40 at the movie theatre are just a few ways to cut back on spending.

Focus on Tradition. Some traditions cost nothing. Focus on what is really important to your family that does not have to cost a dime.

http://community.careonecredit.com/balancing_it_all/b/balancing_family/archive/2009/12/14/shopping-for-gifts-for-children-on-a-budget.aspx

http://community.careonecredit.com/balancing_it_all/b/balancing_family/archive/2008/12/19/some-things-you-don-t-need-money-for-holiday-traditions.aspx

Lori O'Donnell

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Allowance for Kids: Life Lessons

2010-09-20T12:04:00Z

Right now, my two older children do not have much money in their wallets. And they do not like that feeling. I love it! I want them to feel a bit anxious when they are running low on money, so that when they are adults maybe they won't overspend. I want them to learn good money management skills. It is even harder in today's world of credit cards, debit cards, and all of the many choices we have for our money. I would much rather have them make mistakes as children/teenagers than as adults. This is one reason my husband and I provide them with a weekly allowance. Two years ago I felt like wearing a t-shirt with a big "NO" on the front every time I went shopping. "Mom, can I get this? Please?!"--repeated over and over. You get the picture, right? Fortunately my kids knew that tantrums would lead to an early store exit, but sometimes they would wear me down and I would give in. We decided to give them a weekly allowance that I wrote about in one of my first blogs two years ago. Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about providing your children with an allowance:

How much for an allowance? It depends on their age. For really young children who are still grasping the concept of money a dollar or two a week will help them learn basic money skills. For older kids, one recommendation I read is for about a dollar per year of age. Two years ago we decided to give both of our children (then ages 5 and 7) $5 a week. We have other issues with perceived inequalities between the siblings, so making it the same amount has worked well for us. As they get older we will adjust it as needed, especially as they are expected to use it for things other than wants. My sister's teenagers get $35 a month and in order to pay for outings with friends and cell phone service they both have jobs. Here is a link to an allowance calculator that also explains the purchasing power of money in different years (which is why they ask you to enter your birth year), which is pretty cool.

Should allowance be tied to chores? I have to admit this is a hard one. I have read arguments for both sides. At first we decided to not tie it to chores. I try to emphasize that we all have jobs to do around the house and we need to be a team; I did not want to tie allowance to chores. But since I feel like I am nagging the kids to do simple jobs I am rethinking my position. My new plan is to list the responsibilities of my older children (both readers) and if they do them each week without nagging then they will get their allowance. If not, there is always next week. If your children are not yet reading, you can draw pictures of what they are expected to do instead of the written word.

Restrictions? My kids are allowed to use their allowance on almost anything, as long as it is safe (i.e. no skydiving lessons right now). I do this because I want them to learn the hard lessons of buying something they don't really need and then regret it. I would much rather they do this with a small remote controlled car that sits in a closet for a year then have them max out a credit card at 19 on things they really don't need. Also, it builds responsibility and independence. I control enough of their lives; this is one area where they can have some control. And being in control feels good, no matter the age. I do help to guide them with questions when they are deciding if they want to crack open their wallet or not. But ultimately the decisions are for them to make.

Savings and Sharing. Once kids have their own money they can learn about saving money and also about the joy of sharing their money. Children can have their own savings account where they can deposit their allowance and watch it grow. Also, by having their own money, they can decide to use it for helping others through any number of charities. If you want to teach your kids about investing in the stock market, there are funds designed to interest kids that include popular kids companies like Toys "R" Us. I have not gotten into stocks yet, but I will when they are a little older. This website is a good resource for teaching kids about money.

The List. In order to make allowances work and not just provide more money for your kids to buy, buy, buy, make a list of what they are now required to buy on their own. For example, if you always paid for outings to the movies, perhaps now they would use their allowance to pay for any food they want to buy. Setting up guidelines for the use of the money is important and keeps everyone honest. This way I hear a lot less of, "Just this once? Please?!"

I find I spend less money by giving my kids an allowance. That may not make sense, but it works! Do your kids get an allowance? How much?

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Lori O'Donnell

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