When One Child Is More Than EnoughOne day while I was at the beauty salon getting all dolled up, my Hair Dresser inquired about Aiden. She's met him on several different occasions and simply adores his spunky personality. So much so that each time I go in for a hair appointment, she asks about him. It's typically the usual questions ("How is he?"), comments ("He's speaking so clearly"), and exclamations ("I can't believe he's getting so big!").

Then the dreaded question - "So, when are you having another child?"


My Hair Dresser knows that I am a single Mother so I told her that I have no plans to have another child any time soon. I also informed her that I'd like to continue with my career path (since I recently completed graduated school), meet someone, build a relationship with them, and then maybe try for another child. Maybe.

Her response? "That's so selfish of you! Having a second child is not for you, it's for Aiden! He needs someone to play with."


Hold up. When did my reproductive decisions become an approved topic for "Beauty Parlor etiquette?" Is my reproductive decision an approved topic for "Beauty Parlor etiquette?"

Didn't think so.

The thing is, as any caring parent does, I want to be able to provide the best things in life for Aiden - a good education, a nice home, meaningful extra-curricular activities, lovely people in his entourage. All those things cost money, save for the lovely people in his entourage (but I'm beginning to think that even that costs money).

As a single Mother, sometimes that presents a challenge in and of itself because of the financial sacrifices that I must make. And, don't get me wrong, I don't mind making those sacrifices. At all.

But financial sacrifices aside, as much as I love being Aiden's Mother (and with all my heart, I do), it's really not enough. For me. I often hear women say that when they are at work, they are simply waiting for the time to pass until they can get home to be with their children. And I can agree with them, but only to a certain extent.

I love my job and when I'm at work, I love being at work. It's part of who I am and I wouldn't trade that. The idea of splitting my time at home between more than one child seems like the equivalent of tying one's shoelace without thumbs.

Not to mention that as a Mother, the worrying never ends. I don't think that I've slept soundly for the entire night since Aiden was... well, born. I wake up in the middle of the night all the time. If it's not to check up on him or to scare monsters away or to take him to the bathroom, it's because my mind won't let me stop thinking about the million and one things that I'll have to complete the next day. And the day after that. And the week after that. And the month after that.

It can be downright exhausting.

But it's not. Most of the time. And I feel that it's because I've learned how to manage my time with just one kid. He's happy, he's healthy, and he's blessed beyond measure. And I'm happy, healthy and blessed beyond measure too.

So... until the Love Gods look down on me in favor and all the stars align for Mr. Right and I to meet, greet, and fall in love, my cute little family of two will remain just that - a family of two.

At this moment in life, that's more than enough for us.

Alicia Harper Divorce Debt and FinancesAlicia Harper 

Alicia Harper, M.A., Ed.M. is a single mother, blogger, and recent graduate of Columbia University. Her life is filled with all things pink, except for the one bit of blue - her rambunctious 3-year-old son. Together they make a great pair, and Alicia chronicles the trials and triumphs of being a young, single mother living in NYC at Mommy Delicious.